Monday, April 27, 2009

The first and second laws of elders-quorum-dynamics

1. Any lesson peace will devolve into justifications of violence.

2. Any lesson on the law of consecration will devolve into justifications of wealth.



Let me also add that I really dislike the oft-used attempt to justify wealth with the claim that the accumulation of wealth is good because certain mission presidents were only able to serve because of the mass wealth they had stored away in their mansions. This assumes that only rich businessmen and lawyers can be mission presidents (which may in fact be the case), and it ignores the simple response that if these rich Mormons had been living their covenants, their donations could have enabled a spiritually strong, but monetarily weak school teacher, electrician, store manager, or farmer to serve as mission presidents.

Friday, April 17, 2009

John Oliver vs. more D-bags




The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c
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Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Perhaps the greatest editorial commentary to ever not come from Comedy Central

Monday, April 13, 2009

The True Meaning of Easter

I know it's a day late, but I thought I couldn't let the holiday finish without reflecting on the true meaning of this holiday.


Sunday, April 12, 2009

An Easter story

April 23rd 2000.

My mission companion and I colored a couple dozen eggs and hid them in another pair of elders' apartment. We made sure we did a good job of hiding them and didn't tell the other elders what we had done. Also, we forgot soon forgot, ourselves, where we hid them. The missionaries didn't discover the first egg for a few days, and a couple months later were still being led by rotten scents to little colored treasures.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Did Lehi pick up a second wife in the wilderness?

My beautiful and insightful fiancée brought this up to my attention.
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Throughout his first book, Nephi refers to his mother (and the wife of his father Lehi) as "my mother, Sariah." For example 1 Nephi 2:5 "my mother, Sariah, and my elder brothers, who were Laman, Lemuel, and Sam"; 5:1 "my mother, Sariah, was exceedingly glad"; 5:6 "after this manner of language did my father, Lehi, comfort my mother, Sariah, concerning us";" and citing Lehi, 8:14 "I beheld your mother Sariah, and Sam, and Nephi.
However, when writing about their trials in the ocean, Nephi writes 18:19 "And Jacob and Joseph also, being young, having need of much nourishment, were grieved because of the afflictions of their mother."
Now it could be the case that Nephi changed the possessive pronoun to emphasize the relationship indicated in each sentence - "my mother" (Nephi and Sariah), "your mother" (Lehi referring to the older brothers and their mother), and "their mother " (younger brothers and Sariah).
However here are three other factors that may lead us to believe that Jacob and Joseph had a different mother than their older brothers:

1- The age of Sariah. At the earliest, Nephi's mother could have been no younger 32 when they left Jerusalem. This would have required Sariah to have married Lehi when she was 13, had her first four sons in four consecutive years, and Nephi would have been merely been 15 when he went into Jerusalem to kill Laban and secure the plates.
If we change things up a bit and make them a little more realistic, we could have Sariah married at 14 or 15, give her six or seven years to have her first four sons, and have Nephi be 16 or 17 before he pulls his heroics. With these, Sariah is anywhere between 36 and 39 when she leaves Jerusalem with her family.
This of course assumes the (unlikely) chance that each of Lehi and Sariah's first four children survived until adulthood. (The chance for a child to survive to adulthood was 30-40%). If we add that perhaps Lehi and Sariah had one child between Laman and Nephi that did not survive into adulthood we end with a Sariah being anywhere between 37 and 41 when they left Jerusalem.
1 Nephi 18:19 seems to imply that Jacob and Joseph were both being nursed by their mother while on the boat to the promise lands. If we grant that Jacob was no older than two at this time (I have no idea what the average age to ween children was), then that would require that Jacob was born at least six years after Sariah left Jerusalem and Joseph born seven years after that time.
If Sariah was the mother of Joseph, she would have had to been at least 39, though more realistically she would have had to been at least 44 to 48 at the time - far beyond the average childbearing age which began to dramtically decrease after 30 during this time.

2 - The first-born in the wilderness. Three times in 2 Nephi 2, Lehi describes Jacob as being his first-born in the wilderness (as opposed to Laman, whom he simply calls his first-born (2 Nephi 4:3)). This distinction seems more likely to arise from them having different mothers than simply geographic location.

3 - Twenty years without a son? If we grant that Nephi was a mere 14 year old boy when they left Jerusalem, then that would have meant that Lehi and Sariah somehow managed to go 20 years without having any sons. While some of Nephi's unnamed sisters (2 Nephi 5:6) may have been born during this time, that they began with 4 consecutive boys and finished with 2 consecutive boys leaves a simply 20 year sonless gap highly specious.

4 - Was Jacob a product of polygamy? As some of you may know, my belief that the Book of Mormon is an account of historically real people leads me to a bit of a Foucauldian reading of the text which causes me to look for power structures behind the text that may have influenced it. In Jacob 2, the "first-born in the wilderness" is rebuking the generation following his father Lehi for their abominable practice of having multiple wives. He, however, adds: (2:30) "For if I will, saith the Lord of Hosts, raise up seed unto me, I will command my people; otherwise they shall hearken unto these things."
If Lehi had taken on a second wife during their travels in the wilderness, this would explain a few things and provide a little bit of story behind Jacob's last comment. While the Nephites may have just assumed polygamy or copied it from their Israelite ancestors, if Lehi had participated in polygamy, it would explain better why the Nephites had so quickly adopted (and perversed) it. Furthermore, it can explain some of the motivation behind Jacob's clause for righteous polygamy. First, his clause defends the actions of his father by claiming that (unlike the current practice) his father's polygamy was divinely commanded. Second, Jacob's clause re-enforces his position of power by making him the intended product of his father's polygamy. In other words, Jacob is saying that if God commanded his father Lehi to take a second wife for the purpose of raising righteous seed, then Jacob would be that righteous seed. By making this claim, Jacob is both boosting his own self-esteem as well as establishing his religious authority over the rest of the Nephites.
While it may be the case that Sariah died in the wilderness and that Lehi simply remarried as a widower, the absense of any mention of Sariah's death in Nephi's wilderness narrative makes this doubtful.

Finally, where and when did Lehi find a second wife, and why isn't it mentioned. To the first, Lehi may have married one of Ishamel's daughters or have found his wife among others they met along their journey in the wilderness. To the second, because women are rarely ever mentioned in the Book of Mormon - Nephi doesn't even name his own wife - the absence of any mention of Lehi's new marriage would be rather normal for the BofM.



What think ye?

Monday, April 06, 2009

Mormonism and the evolution of man?

This is a short comment I wrote on Carson's blog in response to his request for critics of evolution to provide their best arguments. As many of you know, I'm a rather firm believer of evolution. This is just my best counter argument of evolution from an LDS perspective that I believe points to some problems with the standard LDS beliefs about God and the general theory concerning the evolution of man.

What think ye?

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Mormons generally believe that God has a physical body that is essentially the same as ours. For example Brigham Young said that we would not be able to distinguish God from other people if he were to be walking among us. Some Mormons, take this to mean that God has the same genetic structure as his human offspring.

If we take this to be true, as well as the general belief that humans evolved from 'lower' life forms as the rest of the biological world, than it seems that there are three possible conclusions:

1. The grand evolutionary process inevitably results in the teleological evolution of human-like animals; or
2. That humans and God are so physically similar is mere accidental; or
3. Human beings are not a result of random mutation in the evolutionary process, but are rather the results of an intelligent design process (perhaps controlled mutations) that eventually resulted in beings like God.

(1) to me, seems a little too contrived and improbable. (2) has the same problem and would probably not gel well with most LDSaints. (3) would perhaps be the most accepted by LDSaints... But if we take out random mutation, are we really talking about the same evolution as the scientists are?

The Twelve Apostates

My friend Dave Golding pointed this out to me today.

From today's Daily Universe at BYU:


Apparently this typo resulted in a complete recall and reprint of today's issue. Here is the Daily Universe's account of the typo and recall.

Another funny typo can be found in the fourth to last paragraph of the article explaining the eror:
Administrators in the Department of Communications said they were interviewing students and staff Monday to determine how the eror happened. Apparently a student copy editor used InDesign’s spell check function to check all the photo captions. The student told Evans that InDesign suggested the misspelled word and the student failed to catch the error.
Gotta love typo erors when discussing typo erors.

Does anybody know if/when a total recall of the paper has happened before? I wonder what other kinds of problems might result in such a recall and reprint.

Sunday, April 05, 2009

April Fools recap

Read it here.

Saturday, April 04, 2009

This one is dedicated to all the ladies out there - My notes from tonight's manhood session

(my written thoughts are in parentheses)

Grandpa Packer-

  • We had gender from the creation of our spirits in the pre-existence.
    • (We had spirit junk?)
  • Some races are better than others
    • (Though he didn't clarify which was better)
Bishop Edgley
  • (If I close my eyes I picture him with a large white cowboy hat, alligator skin boots, and a bolo tie)
  • Something about "corn brothers"
    • (Who and what are these "corn brothers"? Sounds farmish or cultish)
  • Some women "even have to work."
    • (He should prepared me for that. It was a lot to take in at once)
    • These working women "can teach and babysit."
      • (Okay. I can handle that)
Claudio Return Missionary Costa
  • FHE must be on Mondays
    • If children have any other responsibilities on Mondays, those responsibilities must be given up or abandoned.
    • This includes sports.
Elder Uchtdorf
  • (Here comes another story that he is going to relate to the gospel)
  • Jokes about trying to find another story to relate to the gospel.
    • (Haha. I was right)
    • "The story of the lightbulb"
  • Tendency to focus on the insignifant to the detriment of the profound.
    • Even some Church programs can be a problem if they are focused on the the extreme.
  • Nehemiah - "I am doing a great work and cannot come down."
  • "I am doing a great work and cannot come down."
  • "I am doing a great work and cannot come down."
  • "I am doing a great work and cannot come down."
  • (He's always so tan. And has great hair. I wonder if he works out)
  • "I am doing a great work and cannot come down."
  • "I am doing a great work and cannot come down."
  • "I am doing a great work and cannot come down."
  • (I'm not having gay thoughts. I'm just admiring a handsome man)
  • "I am doing a great work and cannot come down."
  • "I am doing a great work and cannot come down."
  • "I am doing a great work and cannot come down."
  • (If we were in a black church, we'd all be repeating and shouting out with him right now.)
  • "I am doing a great work and cannot come down."
  • "I am doing a great work and cannot come down."
  • (I so wish I was in black and in a black church right now)
  • "I am doing a great work and cannot come down."
  • (Oh... So maybe that's what Packer meant with not being jealous of another race)
Elder Eyring
  • (Wasn't he in a movie where he kidnapped Santa Claus and made a mess of Christmas?)
  • Recounts his favorite movie Black Hawk Down
  • The usual crying
  • "No one left behind" in the priesthood.
  • (Please end the talk with a "Whuup")
  • (No Whuup)
President Monson
  • Study diligently
  • Pray fervently
  • Live Righteously
  • Don't eat rotten egg salad sandwhiches
  • (I love his talks. Enteraining and to the point)