put myself in a bad mood tonight. not only did i get gay-friended (see below), i couldn't for the life of me find a date to see a play at uvsc. so this bummed me out and so i really wanted to go clubbing, but nobody would come with me. ended up sitting on my butt with a few friends watching tv. i miss the days when i lived with mike and we'd go up to salt lake twice a month to go clubbing.
the night finished a little better with some birthday cake and chillin with some friends. and i found a small group to go clubbing tomorrow night. so that should be fun.
today, more than a couple people told me that they don't think i fit here in utah. i agree in a lot of ways. sometimes i feel like i don't fit in with the conservative crowd here. but at the same time, i like that part here. it keeps me in check. i think i jsut need to find more people like me out here. i know they exist. people like mike and megan. unfortunately mike moved out to logan and megan still feels uncomfortable hanging out with me.
a part of me wants to move out (jake thinks i'd be happier back east), but i really think i need to finish my undergrad work here in provo. my two favorite professors are big in the lds philosophy scene and i feel like i need to stay. as much as i hate happy valley at times, there is something special about it. i have more of a desire to get better grades now so that i can go back east for graduate school. if i can work things out, i'd love to go to notre dame, yale, cambridge, florida st, or unc-chapel hill which are all big schools for the philosophy of religion. oh well.... i might as well enjoy life right now
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