Thursday, June 02, 2005

hitting the limit

and what is your zipcode? i'll need you to slide your card through there.

i've hit my limit at compusa. i don't want to do it anymore. it's the last place i want ot be in the world. sure it pays ok. but there is more to life than money.

returns have to be made within the next 21 days. once software is open, we can only exchange it for the same software. have a great day - (fake a smile)

i stand around. i help a few customers. reason 168 comes in and tells me that i am bullsh** and that he's gonna call gephardt on me. reason 183 seems to take all day writing out a check for a three dollars and eighteen cents. reason 192 yells at me and then asks me if i want to be added to his will. reason 73 steps too close and i'm scared of getting cancer from tobacco smell fuming off her clothes. reason 112 most likely just crapped themself.

(phone rings) - thanks for calling compusa. this is loyd. how can i help you this morning? "my name is bob douchebag from saratoga springs and i was calling because i have a question."

the phone rings over and over again. as soon as i finish up with one, the phone rings again. everybody wants to tell me their name and where they live, as if i cared. everyone wants to tell me that they have a question, as if i thought they might have just called to talk about life.

we only handle returns and exchanges within 21 days from their purchase. if an item is open, we need the original reciept, packaging, and contents. you bought this seven months ago. you don't have a reciept. you don't have any of the packaging, accesories, manuals, or cds. i'm sorry, but we can't return it. (we stare at eachother for a moment of eternity). "so what can you do for me?" i'm sorry but this is completely out of our return policy. there is nothing i can do. "can i talk to a manager?"

i look at the clock. i help some more customers. i print up an audit. forever passes. i look at the clock again. three minutes. not forever, just three minutes. i feel like i'm never going to get out.

(paging) can i have a team-member from hardware to laptop accesories for customer service please?

i think about how much good i have done for the world with this job. the answer is zero. no, the answer isn't zero. it's in the negatives. not only have i not done any good in the world here, i have been destroying it by feeding the capitalist monster.

i'm sorry, but i distinctly told you that if this software was open that we can only exchange it for the very same software. i'm sorry that you didn't carefully read the specs of the software before you spent eighty dollars and opened it. (i'm really not that sorry - she cries - i don't care)

this place has left me practically hating humanity. everyone feels like they need to be special and that the rules shouldn't apply to them. everyone feels like they should not have to take responsibility for their actions. it's a sad disease that infects this valley.

i'm sorry that you threw away the box before you cut out the proof of purchase for your rebate. no, we cannot give you your hundred dollar rebate in cash. no, we cannot return it without the packaging. "can i speak with a manager?"

these are the kids who cry at the grocery store until their parents by them the barbie doll, toy car, or candy bar. now they're all grown up. the one lesson they learned growing up is that if you cry long enough, yell loud enough, and make a big enough scene - you can have whatever you want in this world.

here's you credit card. i just need you to sign right here.

it's the same thing over and over again. day after day. week after week. i'm not a person, i'm a robot programmed to follow a routine. like waking up and showering. the same thing every day. over and over and over. lather. rinse. repeat.

for this keyboard, we offer a two-year replacement guarantee for only seventeen-ninety-nine. so if it breaks or stop working over the next two years, bring it over to this or any compusa and we'll swap it out for a brand new one.

i need something that will be rewarding. something that will make me feel like i'm doing some good in the world. that's why i want to be a professor. i want to be able to touch lives and help people learn and see the world in a different way. i want to tutor or mentor this summer. something like that.

good evening compusa customers. the time is now 8:45 and that means that your orem compusa will be closing in approximately fifteen minutes. if you could bring all of your final purchases to the front registers for prompt processing, that would be greatly appreciated. once again, your orem compusa will be closing in fifteen minutes.

it's time to start looking for something else. any ideas?


  1. I think a lot of the "bad behavior" you describe comes from the fact that people can remain pretty much anonymous. I mean, when will you ever see Reason 73 again?

    That said, there is a definite society-wide problem of extreme selfish, consumerist individualism that is rampant these days. Over the weekend I hope to watch a BBC documentary seies called The Century of the Self.

    Part of the description for Episode 3 talks about how the "non-conformist" 60s became a boon to advertisers and manufacturers: "American corporations soon realised that this new self was not a threat but their greatest opportunity. It was in their interest to encourage people to feel they were unique individuals and then sell them ways to express that individuality."

    And that's how you got to where you are in 2005. (^-^)


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