day one poetry

my very first posts on this site were some poems i had written when i was struggling with some issues a couple years ago. once i discovered people i knew were reading this thing, i took them off. i had never really read poetry before, so i wasn't quite sure what i was doing. in some ways, they were just lists of thoughts and feelings i had stirring in my mind at the time. having been recently exposed to some real poetry, i've discovered how unpoetic i really am. anyways, here they are. a brief snippet of my life. sorry that they are rather depressing.



(1)

i messed up

did some wrong

had a light

lost it

in the dark

alone

solitary

forsaken

flashes of light fade as fast as they came

reminders of the dark around

now i'm alone

waiting

waiting for the light to return



(2)

to my left
to my right
there's nobody
not a soul
i'm all alone
i feel no touch
i feel no love
all i need
an arm around me
to have that comfort
to hear some words
"everything is going to be allright"
but it's not there
i'm all alone
send me an angel
i can't do this
by myself


(3)

reaching out
grasping air
finding nothing
all alone
not a friend
where am i
where are they
i know it's there
i feel it not
it's my fault
it should not have been
can't change the past
can't jump ahead
it's happened now
i'll have to wait
waiting for a change
return of light
a loving friend
the comforter
back again
a part of them
to be not alone
come back please
forsake no more
return of light


(4)

just need to hold on through the darkness - in a moment the sun will rise - god has his arms around me - i just need to realize it - he loves me although i can't always feel - someday i'll be able to know again - all i lost i'll get back - stronger than i was before - i just need to hold on - i've gone too far - can't stop now - won't give up



reading these over, the memories of then creep back into my mind. that was definitely a tough time. i wonder how much those experiences affect me today.

someday, i'll take another stap at poetry. hopefully they won't suck as bad the second time around. they seem too much like laundry lists.


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work drained me today. luckily, it's nice and cool outside to sit back and relax. hopefully some rain will come pouring down. i've been waiting for weeks to be able to sit in the balcony and enjoy a good storm.