Sunday, August 07, 2005

its name was tootsie

after years of searching, i have finally found it.

i had originally given up on my quest to name every ducktales character. i once knew them all. fenton (aka gizmoduck), mrs. beakley (was there a mr. beakley?) , launchpad mcquack, webigail, doofus, glomgold, gyro, magica de spel, bubba, and the rest. however, i could not remember the name of bubba's pet dinosaur.

after some reminiscing with friends, i once again sought out to find the name of this orange triceratops (which just happens to be the type of dinosaur i used to pretend to be. this is because a triceratops is the best damn kind of dinosaur out there. not only do they have three razor-sharp horns on their heads to rip the intestines out of any competitor, they also have shields on the back of their necks to protect them from the teeth and claws of raptors and tyranosaurs (which dinosaurologists now believe are just pussy scavengers who don't attack live dinosaurs, but just eat the remains of dinosaurs who have gotten their asses kicked by a triceratops). triceratops were also vegetarians like me, so that means they were even extra cool).

anyways, back to my quest....

after some searching, i discovered that the bubba's pet was named tootsie. yes, tootsie. that is most likely why i had forgotten. what kind of stupid idiot names a triceratops tootsie???? i know bubba was an early neanderduck, but he couldn't have been that lame. bubba had a big-ass club and would break things!!! and then he goes and names his fully-automatic assault dinosaur tootsie! this is a family-family site (sorta), so i have to keep the language clean. f***! a**! sh**! dammell sumbitch!!!!! ugghh!!! whoever did the writing for that episode should have been fired. for hell's sake, they named the three-horned killer after dustin hoffman in a wig and bra.

take a deep breathe.





ok, i'm relaxed now.

so now i remember what its name was and wish i can forget again. that show largely defined my childhood. i can still sing the duck-tales themesong from heart and recall episodes with a nostalgic smile. everyday after school i would get home, drink some kool-aid, watch ducktales, watch rescue rangers, watch tale-spin, skip dark-wing duck cuz it sucked, watch fullhouse, watch mr. belvadere, watch.... goddam! i spent way too much time on tv!

i hardly watch tv anymore. i'll catch an occasional seinfeld or teletubbies here and there, but that's about it. channel surfing is too much of a waste of time, and i've already spend too many hours of my life doing it. tv-on-dvd is a different story. god bless the genius who first put tv episodes on dvd. brilliant! if he started a church, i'd be baptized tomorrow and every sunday i'd go to church and watch my favorite shows. southpark with some wine and crackers. sunday school with dave chappelle. nursery with seinfeld. and choir practice with sex in the city. ok, no sex in the city. i don't have a vagina, so i just don't get it.

i'm beginning to blab, but you should all be happy because i haven't yet mentioned my work (which i hate) nor the people of happy valley (which i also hate).

life is like a hurricane, here in duckburg, race cars, lasers, aeroplanes, it's a duck-blur, might solve a mystery, or rewrite history...

not much else to write about. though this post lacked any bit of intelligence, hopefully it was a little entertaining. life's been pretty good lately. had a fun dinner with valerie's extended family tonight and was surprisingly able to avoid the awkward 80 questions. had a lot of fun in general lately, but enough about that.

one last thing, i can tell that i'm getting a lot of (frequent) visitors, so leave a comment sometime or at least sign my damn guestbook!


  1. I'm sorry, but this was hilarious!!! Check it out:

    Planned Unparenthood

    I hope that link works, if not check it out here:

  2. I used to watch DuckTales too (not as much of a fan as you, however).

    I pride myself on knowing the names of obscure Super Mario characters like Lakitu and Shy Guy (but I couldn't claim to know them all).

  3. my parents wouldn't allow a nintendo or game system in the house when i was growing. i guess you could say i was deprived, but i think it was actually better for me.

  4. What's funny is my mom probably played the nintendo as much as we did. (And I _know_ she still plays dr. mario.) But yeah, I probably wasted too much time in my childhood (okay, and even still at christmas) playing nintendo.

    i'll have to check out that new dcfc album.


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