Wednesday, December 05, 2007

i could use some divine help here...

in less than 24 hours i'll be taking the gre. even though i have spent countless hours trying to ready myself for this exam, i still feel grossly unprepared. while i don't necessarily believe that god will help someone in their test taking, i figure it wouldn't hurt to give it a shot. i also figured the more people praying and the more gods being prayed to might help as well.

so tonight please offer up a prayer (and a sacrifice if needed) on my behalf to god, jesus, allah, elohim, yahweh/jehovah, buddha, baal, asheroth, brahman, krishna, adamn, vishnu, thor, zeus, grimace, the first cause, mother earth, father christmas, optimus prime, nuclear power, general zod, satan, charles darwin, richard dawkins, the flying spaghetti monster, friedrich nietzshe, karl marx, richard marx, the spice girls, apollo, aslan, sauron, lucky the lucky charms leprechaun, count chocula, the easter bunny, the kool-aid guy, damien, trent reznor, that 'hey vern' guy, pee-wee, the king of the echo people, that giant head that the captain kirk thinks is god, he-man, skeletor, osiris, saint jeremiah - the patron saint of test-taking, rainbow bright, the guy who invented string cheese, poseiden, and any other deity that may be able to give me some assistance.



  1. Excellent :-)

    The question of the extent to which your God exists is interesting, but more important is the question of the extent to which your God saves you.

  2. Recently, I had to take a test for nursing school. Since I was able to take it twice in a two month spand, I kept note of the differences in scores. I attributed my higher scores to home made rice crispy treats. I'll just say my lower score was because the lady at the center was a moron. The point of this is to stay away from stupid people and eat yummy food. It is proven to work for me. Good Luck.

  3. ....I guess you should add the snap, crackle, and pop elves to your list.

  4. I feel your pain. I took the GRE two years ago. I did really, really, well on the verbal and written areas but abysmal on the math section (darn that math, I was never good at it). Around this time last year I took the Miller's Analogies Test and did much better. Unfortunately more schools, the schools I was interested in, look at the GRE. I will take the GRE again it is only a matter of when. Anyways, I will call upon Shiva in your behalf. The only question is which aspect of Shiva will answer. Hopefully Shiva the creator and not Shiva the destroyer.

  5. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is true!


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