Tuesday, October 28, 2008

david sedaris - undecided

this is for jack and jeff and any other david sedaris fans out there... as well as for those odd undecideds who are still lurking out in the woods.

"I don’t know that it was always this way, but, for as long as I can remember, just as we move into the final weeks of the Presidential campaign the focus shifts to the undecided voters. “Who are they?” the news anchors ask. “And how might they determine the outcome of this election?”

"Then you’ll see this man or woman— someone, I always think, who looks very happy to be on TV. “Well, Charlie,” they say, “I’ve gone back and forth on the issues and whatnot, but I just can’t seem to make up my mind!” Some insist that there’s very little difference between candidate A and candidate B. Others claim that they’re with A on defense and health care but are leaning toward B when it comes to the economy.
I look at these people and can’t quite believe that they exist. Are they professional actors? I wonder. Or are they simply laymen who want a lot of attention?

"To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”

"To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked. . . ."

read the rest here.



  1. Thank you for that :) I thoroughly enjoyed it. Sedaris owns.

  2. heehee. i enjoyed that as well.

  3. That is pretty funny. Though I think it makes sense to be "with A on defense and health care but [lean] toward B when it comes to the economy." (That is, if B weren't lying about his economic policies.) I think it's pretty rare to agree with one side or the other 100%, and ultimately people need to decide which issues are most important. For instance, maybe the shit comes with gravy. Some people really like gravy.


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