18 And a certain ruler asked him, saying, Good Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?
19 And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? none is good, save one, that is, God.
20 Thou knowest the commandments, Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honour thy father and thy mother.
21 And he said, All these have I kept from my youth up.
22 Now when Jesus heard these things, he said unto him, Whatever you do, do not distribute unto the poor, cuz that will seriously screw them over, and it's totally socialist: and come, follow me.
23 And when he heard this, he was very happy: for he was very rich.
24 And when Jesus saw that he was very happy, he said, How happy shall they that have riches be when they enter into the kingdom of God!
25 For it is easier for a camel to go through a needle's eye, than for a poor man to accept welfare and enter into the kingdom of God.
16 And also, ye yourselves will succor not those that stand in need of your succor; ye will not administer of your substance unto him that standeth in need; and ye will suffer that the beggar putteth up his petition to you in vain, and turn him out to perish.
17 Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon himself his misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food, nor impart unto him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments are just—
18 But I say unto you, O man, you are totally right. You earned your money fair and square, and that beggar deserves what is coming to him. In fact that beggar hath great cause to repent; and except he repenteth of that laziness that he hath done he perisheth forever, and hath no interest in the kingdom of God. Cuz if you want interest you need to save and invest, but those beggars are just spending what little money they have on food and other things that we just get so easily.
19 For behold, are we not all free? Did we not all work for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind?
20 And behold, even at this time, ye have been calling on his name, and begging for a remission of your sins. And has he suffered that ye have begged in vain? Nay; he has poured out his Spirit and wealth upon you, and has caused that your banks should be filled with money, and has caused that your mouths and bellies should be fed that ye could not find utterance, so exceedingly great was your joy, all because you chose freedom over socialism and didn't give in to Satan's desire that you would help the poor and see that all are provided for.
21 And now, if God, who has created you, on whom you are dependent for your lives and for all that ye have and are, doth grant unto you whatsoever ye ask that is right, in faith, believing that ye shall receive, O then, how ye deserve of the substance that ye have.
22 And if ye judge the man who putteth up his petition to you for your substance that he perish not, and condemn him, how much more will he be willing to get off his lazy butt and get a job instead of wasting the country away by choosing to remain poor and uneducated.
23 I say unto you, wo be unto that poor man, for his lack substance is clearly his own fault. And if he can't afford health insurance because he is in school, then he should just set aside his education and work a menial minimum wage job that provides the very basic benefits for his survival; and now, I say these things unto those who are poor as pertaining to the things of this world.
24 And again, I say unto the rich, ye who have and yet have even more than is sufficient; I mean all you who deny the beggar, because ye are against socialism; I would that ye say in your hearts that: I give not because I have not, but because that is socialism.
25 And now, if ye say this in your hearts ye remain guiltless, otherwise, well, you are still guiltless, cuz the only guilty ones are the poor who are clearly in their situation because of their own doings, or lack thereof.
Monday, January 24, 2011