What Child Is This
Written by William Chatterton Dix


What child is this who laid to rest
On Mary's lap is sleeping
Whom angels greet with anthems sweet
While shepherds watch are keeping

This, this is Christ the King
Whom shepherds guard and angels sing
Haste, haste to bring him laud
The babe, the son of Mary

Why lies he in such mean estate
Where ox and ass are feeding
Good Christian fear, for sinners here
The silent Word is pleading

So bring Him incense, gold, and myrrh
Come peasant king to own Him
The King of kings, salvation brings
Let loving hearts enthrone Him

This, this is Christ the King
Whom shepherds guard and angels sing
Haste, haste to bring him laud
The babe, the son of Mary

........................................................................................

this is by far my favorite christmas song. i melt into a wuss everytime i hear it

holy crap....what a looooooooooong week. parents car was booted this morning...then i went to tow my car and found that the gears were locked up and it was not going ot be possible to tow it with a rope. then a whole day of work....funny thing is...all this car trouble is not bothering me at all.

now it's time to sit back on the couch and relax with some cocoa and a movie

just finished reading b. h. robert's the truth, the way, the life. roberts was such an amazing person. although much of what he wrote is now outdated (especially the chapters dealing with science), the book was a testimony of robert's desire to find truth and his love of the gospel where he felt all truth met. it's unfortunate that the big saw no publishing while robert's was alive (or even for the next 70 years). roberts had an understanding of how the gospel encompasses all truth. he is up there with orson pratt, hugh nibley, james talmage, john widstoe, and the other great thinkers of mormonism. had his book been published, there would have likely been a growth of intellectuals sprouted by his influence (as was later the case with nibley).

although this wasn't in this book, i love this quote of roberts which well describes his feelings of the gospel and truths.

....................................................
i believe mormonism affords opportunity for disciples of the second sort; nay, that its crying need is for such disciples. it calls for thoughtful disciples who will not be content with merely repeating some of its truths, but will develop its truths; and enlarge it by that development. not half--not one-hundredth part--not a thousandth part of that which joseph smith revealed to the church has yet been unfolded, either to the church or to the world.... the prophet planted by teaching the germ-truths of the great dispensation of the fulness of times. the watering and the weeding is going on, and god is giving the increase, and will give it more abundantly in the future as more intelligent discipleship shall obtain. the disciples of mormonism, growing discontented with the necessarily primitive methods which have hitherto prevailed in sustaining the doctrine, will yet take profounder and broader views of the great doctrines committed to the church; and, departing from mere repetition, will cast them in new formulas; co-operating in the works of the spirit, until "they help to give to the truth received a more forceful expression, and carry it beyond the earlier and cruder stages of its development.
....................................................

lately i have been spoken to a lot about intellectualism and the gospel. it has been spoken of as if the two are incompatible. i had some thoughts about this, but i'll have to spit them out later cuz i am tired and have to be up in 5 hours to go tow my car off the freeway. suffice to say, i believe that there is no problem with intellectualism and the gospel.


i found the 5th episode of 24!!!!!!!!!!! thank god for the internet and mirc

i ate so much yesterday that i seriously thought i was going to burst. that was so much turkey...and pie....mmmm....glorious pie

car broke down on the freeway while driving home from the airport. i was planning on getting an accord within the next couple weeks anyways. so it's not a huge problem. maybe i can get it on monday

its about time to head to the airport to fly to boise and eat turkey with my fam.
i just thought i'd jot down some things that i am really thankful for (since it is thanksgiving today). the gospel, my savior, my family, and my friends who have supported me these last several months (in no particular order: tory, chad, derek, megan, brooke, mel, elyse, jess, jeff, jr, brandon, stephanie, bishop collette, brother wright, and the rest of you)

here are some of those other things i'm thankful for. the necessities, sushi, books, nine inch nails, toad the wet sprocket, fuddruckers, dvds, south park, 24, the simpsons, cheesecake, waterfalls, health, string cheese, pizza, football, the list goes on.....

almost all moved in now...or at least moved out. now i just got a room full of crap that i collected over the months, but will prolly never use. time to box it up and ship it home. i've also realize how much junk i need to go out and buy.

i'm in 3rd nephi and decided i'm gonna finish the book of mormon by christmas. it should be rather easy.

time to hop in bed so i can catch my flight in the morning to good ol' boise

life is pretty good right now. i'm in my new pad. school is going pretty good. i like my job. and i get turkey tomorrow.

still got plenty more crap to move tonight, but hopefully i'll get it all done. then in the morning i fly off to boise to catch up with my family and extended family. then i fly back friday morning just in time for work.

tory is coming to chill, watch some b-ball, and pick up return of the king tickets

another night in my new pad...all to myself...i'm really liking it here

and i just realized today is tuesday and i missed 24!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ugggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh. hopefully it'll be available to download soon

yay....i was able to move into my new apartment tonight! i'll have the apartment all to myself for at least a week. that means i can cook ramen in the kitchen butt-naked if i want!!!! i don't know if i'm really up for it, but its nice to know i can.

i picked up a wireless network card tonight, but its a piece of crap and keeps cutting out. i'll have to return it and pick up a decent one tomorrow. i guess thats what i get for shopping cheap

i still got a bunch of crap to move, but i got at least enough for me to sleep over now.

it's been a good sunday i guess. jeremy spoke during sacrament meeting and gave a great talk. ironically (to my posts yesterday), he talked about how he loved the atmosphere here in happy valley. he came from graduating in pennsylvania and livin the college life there. as i was later telling jeff today. i know so many people who lived the other life, but moved here and said they were truly happy in happy valley. none of my friends who have done otherwise have ever said they were happy. i've had other friends move away, live the other life, but come back becuz they were not happy doing that.

with that said, i'm gonna read the bofm for a while

oh yeah...david paulsen had a cool interview for modern reformation about the lds view of the godhead. read it here

well...i should hopefully be able to move into my new place this week. jake, who seems cool (heck, he likes south park and philosophy) will prolly be movin in there too. i'm just getting sick of the crap in my apartment. jess and jeff are great and i'm gonna miss lhavin them around. i just never liked living here. i thought it was going ot be fun, but from day one this apartment has not been enjoyable. i feel like i have no social life living here. i really think things will get better when i move. i found that a lot of people don't want to come to my apartment because of steve. if i'm lucky i can start moving before thanksgiving. i need to go offer some sacrifices to the apartment gods

derek at work, and his comment (see prev post) started me thinking a lot about my beliefs and life. here are some of my thoughts...

to live in happy valley, but not of happy valley

sure i rag on happy valley a bit...ok i rag on it a lot. in all reality i like it here. i don't fit the mold. i'm not shaped with the happy valley cookie cutter. but in many ways, living here has helped me shape myself. there is nothing wrong with the happy valley life. it's prolly better than what i live now. a few days ago on southpark, they portrayed mormons as obscenely happy people. it's true in many cases. people here are happy. they enjoy the life they live. i have nothing against people who enjoy living so. i just get bothered with the self-righteousness i perceive in some people. this i'm better than you attitude is not exclusive to happy valley though. it's anywhere and everywhere you go. it's a sad part of human nature. in happy valley, people think they are better than me becuz i watch southpark and rated r movies. outside of happy valley, people think they are better than me becuz i don't drink and i choose not to have sex.

i used to complain that it was hard to find things to do here in happy valley. i've come to realize it's been my fault. sure, if you like drinking, it's a little tougher, but that's never been much of an issue for me. i had friends that drank and stufs in highschool. i just never cared for it. my problem is that i stopped being social. i didn't go out to make new friends when my old ones moved out. sure there are less people here that want to go clubbin, but i know they exist. i just need to find them. lately i've been trying to be more social and have found more and more people who want to do fun stufs. there is a wide assortment of people here. people from all over the states. people who have come to realize that life here in happy valley is good. even many of those who lived the opposite of happy valley life. i guess what i'm saying is. the gospel does have the power to make us happier when we embrace it and happy valley is a good place to be able to embrace it

why do i believe anyways?

it's hard to explain why i believe so much in the gospel. at the base of it all, i guess it's just cuz i do. it's hard to explain. i just know inside, in my gut, in my deepest knowledge that god is there, that he loves me, that his son died for me, and that god restored his gospel today. beyond that, it comes to the fruit. when i apply the gospel in my life. i mean really apply it, i am happy. truly happy.

what am i not doing?

when i was dating megan, i felt like i was truly happy. i really was. prolly the happiest i had been in a year. what's different now? obviously i'm not dating megan and that does make a difference. there is something more though. when i was dating her, she sparked something in me. i started reading my scriptures again. i pushed aside my demons and tried to become a better person spiritually. my prayers became real. i've slacked and need to whip myself back into gear.

impressing others

highschool was all about what others thought about me. what a wasted life. when we spend day in and day out wondering what others think of us, we end up pursuing a life we don't really want. i still do it some. i try to make people think i'm this intellectual who thinks for himself and avoids conformity. it's bad enough when we lie about who we really aren't or don't want to be. it's even worse when we act on it and do things that aren't us or that we really don't want to be. i've tried to be myself or try to be who i want to be.

sin, guilt, integrity

why do i sometimes feel bad about doing something, but don't feel bad about doing other things that i know are wrong. i think it comes down to three things. integrity with god, integrity with others, and integrity with self. my mission president told me of an experience he had at a gas station. a lady saw his nametag and asked him if a cup of coffee would keep her out of heaven. his response was that a cup of coffee would not, but direct disobedience will. i think our level of guilt we feel is directly related to our level of commitment and integrity we are giving. i have found that when i do feel guilt for something, it is because it was something that i had committed to not doing. i broke my integrity with myself. also i have felt this guilt when i have hurt someone else in the act and lost integrity with that person. and i have felt the worst guilt when i know i committed (and i mean really committed) something to god...and then broke it. on the other end, i notice that when i lack guilt, it is when i failed or seized to commit. when i have failed to decide (or even worse, decided to fail), i have felt no guilt. i need to commit myself more. i need to make the active decision to follow god and do what is right.

what to do...what to do....

there are some changes i need to make in my life.
i need to start praying more involved and personal. my prayers lately have been a routine of thoughtless words. i need to talk to god. talk to him as if he were sitting next to me, listening and responding. i need to do this nightly and when i wake up.
i need to start really reading my scriptures again. not just reading, but studying. they can be such a powerful tool. i did well a couple months ago, but as with other things, i let it slide
i need to serve others more. what better way is there to feel loved, then by expressing it
i need to fight my demons
i need to keep myself busy. to be active
i need to focus on school better. i really want to get grad and post grad degrees. can't do that with lousy grades
i need to get out more. i complained that people don't come to hang with me. i need to let them know i'm someone worth hangin with
i need to smile. sometimes forcing a small smile can brighten our own day, not to mention others


leave a comment about what you think of this post

a guy i work with told me he'd be happy if i was still active (in the lds church) in 20 years. basically, here in happy valley, non-comformity to the popular view and zeal is a sure sign of apostacy. so i think god doesn't know the future and i watch southpark...i guess that means i've got one foot in hell already ;)

i realized today that when i move and cancel my internet, i'm gonna lose my webspace for my site. if you know any good info on free/inexpensive webspace....let me know

as you can prolly tell...when i'm bored, i end up posting on here.

two quick things

1. i added commenting abilities to this. now you can leave me a comment to tell me how much you think i suck, have mental/social/psychological disabilities, or how you find me uncontrollably and sexually desirable. just click the comment link after the post

2. i still have green pee

i'm not much of a fan of greg olsen, (which is almost blasphemous to say here in happy valley) but i love this painting of his called 'lost and found.' the problem is that i can only find it in framed prints that run about $180

i get home last night and there is a plate of brownies on the table from some girls in the ward...mmmm...chocolate...so i eat a couple. today, during my lunch...i have a nice surprise...i have green pee. somebody is going to die

tonight's south park was all about mormonism. it took quite a heavy anti-mormon tone at the end, but was rather enjoyable and not totally anti-mormon. matt and trey had to twist some history a bit to make the church look bad. you could tell they did some research though

my books from amazon came in today. i got chuck palahniuk's survivor, joao magueijo's faster than light, margaret and paul toscano's strangers in paradox, and stephen and meldrum's evolution and mormonism: a quest for understanding. i'm behind enough with my books as it is. hopefully i'll be able to get to them soon

went and picked up linkin park's new live cd and dvd today. it's done pretty well. a lot better than a bunch of live dvd's. i'd say it's almost as good as nine inch nail's live dvd.

i also picked up blink 182's new cd. it's pretty good, but different from their older stufs.

and to top it off i got the lord of the rings: the two towers extended edition. i'll be watching it later tonight with mary and whoever. it'll be great of course.

i think i figured out what my final term paper in my philosophy of religion class is going to be on. (was that a run-on sentance?) it'll prolly be something to the effect of "burning in the bosom: emotional reaction to religious experience."
i'm going to argue that the 'burning in the bosom' and other emotions that are often claimed as spiritual experiences are not the actual religious experience, but rather an emotional reaction to an underlying religious experience. in mormon terms, my having that 'burning' is not myself feeling the spirit, but is rather an emotional reaction to knowledge i gain by the spirit.
this will also act as a defense to the criticism that we often feel the same feelings of religious experience when we watch movies and listen to music.

check out a kickin criticism of creatio ex nihilo by blake ostler (author of exploring mormon thought: the attributes of god) right here

here's an excellent article written by my professor, dennis potter, about some problems of god's absolute foreknowledge. what does god write in his franklin planner?

every latter-day saint should read eugene england's the weeping god of mormonism. i'm serious, read it!!!!!

i wonder if anybody reads or gives a hoot about what i write here

went to the doctor on monday. x-ray didn't show any fractures. so that's good i guess...hurts like a beast right now though. i was hoping i'd get some good drugs, but the doctor just told me to alternate tylenol and ibuprofen every 3 hours for the rest of my life. ok not that long, just for the next couple weeks. if it still hurts then they're gonna put me to sleep like a horse with a broken leg

so yeah...i changed (or am in the process of changing) my major to integrated philosophy and religious studies at uvsc. i'm very excited for this. i'm gonna finish my bachelors here and then go for some further degree's elsewhere. it would be fun to go back east to yale, notre dame, or another great philosophy school, so i really need to get my ass in gear and pick up my grades. also if i can scrounge up five grande, i'm gonna go to england in the summer to study religious based ethics and 'religion and violence'.

in february, my professors are hosting a mormon theology conference at uvsc. if my final term paper is good enough, i'm gonna submit it to the conference. potter said my last paper wasn't good enough to be submitted, but that if it was reworked it could be. i'd rather do something new though. i'm thinking of maybe writing a paper about god's use of religious myth in scripture and revelation; model's of faith in the lds community; or maybe about the enhanced worshipworthiness of a finite deity.

here's my philosophy paper that got the highest grade in the class. it could have been hella better though.
elohim and the future: problems of divine foreknowledge in mormon theology