goodbyes

we’re almost there now. i can see the cheap white sears siding and black trim of my house. i left today to get away from home, but now i just want back. i feel like a little kid. i want my mom and dad. they can always make me better. they always seem to make things better for me. as i approach the house, i say bye to jr, trying to hold back the tears. i don’t have to be tough at home. i step though the front door and close it behind me. as soon as i see my dad, i can’t hold back and the tears of frustration and anger bust through the dam holding them back.

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i went up to my brother's house for dinner tonight. my parents are staying there tonight before they head off early this morning for their new home in virginia. after eating and chatting for a while, i gave them both a hug, told them i loved them, wished them a safe trip, and quickly left. it wasn't hard. it wasn't sad. i didn't feel anything. it was just a see ya later. i could tell it wasn't as easy for them though.

as i was driving away, i could see my parents standing by the door of the house. standing and watching until the last glimpse of me was gone. suddenly i recalled 13 or so years ago. i had just had a nasty mountain biking accident and was desperately trying to make it home. literally covered with blood from head to foot, there was nothing i wanted more than to be with my parents. there was a safety and peace there that i could find nowhere else.

my car turned a corner and they were gone from the reflection in my rearview mirror. that's when it hit me. i'll miss them.