honesty part 2

i think it’s even harder to be honest with those that we care the most about. even though honesty should be the basis of trust that we build relationships on, we fear that honesty will damage a relationship instead. it’s the fear of rejection, of failing and disappointing the ones we love, of getting hurt and hurting others. while we fear this, the results usually end up being the total opposite.

part 2 – me, myself, and others

we tend to deal with people in terms of our previous relationships. my last ‘relationship’ lacked a lot of honesty. we faked it and pretended that we were being honest with each other, but when the moment came that it was most needed, i was shut down. real, honest discussions were not allowed and the onset of one was quickly recognized and violently ignored or rejected. i soon learned to shut my mouth, avoid honesty, and try to make things work. it never did, but the fear of being honest grew stronger and remained.

real friendships need honesty. without it, it is just a show. something to put on display for everyone (including ourselves) to see. often we say that actions speak louder than words, but i think that too often we use actions to replace honesty. probably because it’s much easier to hide behind something bigger and louder, we replace honesty with physical contact, silence, jokes, sarcasm, and flat out lies. the more a relationship gets built on these substitutes, the more unstable it becomes.

i haven’t been too honest with someone i care about. i was too scared to share my fears and feelings. instead i replaced them with these substitutes. before i knew it, i let confusion take control and drive things in wrong directions. the crazier it got, the more scared i became of being honest. it seemed so much easier to fake it and see where the current took us.

i don’t think it’s too late. some friendship are too important to ruin for fear of honesty.