Friday, November 25, 2005

reason #47 why idaho sucks

there are plenty of reasons to not like idaho and there are two no reasons to like it. here is another reason to dislike this state.

the state of idaho passed a bill commending jared hess and jon heder for making napolean dynamite. now don't get me wrong, i loved napolean dynamite. what i hate is that idaho is so pathetic that it needs napolean dynamite to find any meaning in its poor existance (besides their 'famous potatos' - which i did appreciate mashed with gravy yesterday).

even more pathetic than the bill, are it's contents. here are some highlights of the bill with some commentary.

-"WHEREAS, the scenic and beautiful City of Preston, County of Franklin and the State of Idaho are experiencing increased tourism and economic growth;"

dad, instead of disneyland or bryce canyon, can we go to preston idaho and see where they filmed napolean dynamite! it just looks so scenic and beautiful.

goddamm you idaho!


-"WHEREAS, tater tots figure prominently in this film thus promoting Idaho's most famous export"

those potatos again. seriously idaho, don't you have anything else???

answer - not until napolean dynamite. if i were josh heder i'd tell people i was from magna, utah. the armpit of utah is even better than the buttcrack of earth.


-"WHEREAS, Uncle Rico's football skills are a testament to Idaho athletics;"

did you retards even watch the movie? uncle rico was pathetic (like your state). if uncle rico is a testament to your athletics, then... holy crap... you guys really suck at sports.

-"WHEREAS, Napoleon's bicycle and Kip's skateboard promote better air quality and carpooling as alternatives to fuel-dependent methods of transportation;"

seriously, you guys are really starting to stretch things. go shove a potato up your butt.

-"WHEREAS, Napoleon's artistic rendition of Trisha is an example of the importance of the visual arts in K-12 education"

again, did you see the movie? i've seen better drawings in the poop-smears of a monkey. idaho must not give a russian's toupee about art.

-"WHEREAS, Pedro's efforts to bake a cake for Summer illustrate the positive connection between culinary skills to lifelong relationships;"

"the positive connection between culinary skills to lifelong relationships"???? summer turned down pedro! rejected! shot down! there is no connection between the ability to bake a cake and getting laid by the same person for the rest of your life. no wonder most idahoans are inbred.


-"WHEREAS, the prevalence of cooked steak as a primary food group pays tribute to Idaho's beef industry"

...and to fat-assed idahoans

-"WHEREAS, any members of the House of Representatives or the Senate of the Legislature of the State of Idaho who choose to vote "Nay" on this concurrent resolution are "FREAKIN' IDIOTS!" and run the risk of having the "Worst Day of Their Lives!"

yes, they really put that in there. idaho is that retarded

to all this i add..

WHEREAS, Napolean strapping electrodes to his nutsack and shocking his balls in an attempt to travel through time is a testament to the intellect of the people of Idaho.

37 comments:

  1. HEY! Just remember that some of us are from Idaho, thank you very much. (And you can call me an idiot if you want, but I really like it too).

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  2. the important thing is that you left idaho.

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  3. Wait, was this one of the reasons to like Idaho or to hate it?

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  4. ITS NICE THAT THE ONLY THING YOU KNOW ABOUT IDAHO IS WHAT YOU SAW OFF THE MOVIE NAPOLEAN DYNAMITE. SO HOW BOUT YOU GET OFF YER ASS EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE AND RELIZE WHATS OUT THERE. SO WHAT IM TRYIN TO SAY IS, GET A LIFE ASSHOLE YOU DON,T KNOW SHIT ABOUT IDAHO!

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  5. gary, i've been to idaho plenty of times. it's lame.

    i also had sex with your mom.

    i may not know much about idaho, but i do know when to use an apostrophe instead of a comma.

    i also had sex with your sister/wife (same thing)

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  6. Loyds to be the oficial comment-maker-guy for everything.
    and at the end of every comercial or at the bottom of every add in the magazines, it could say this: "Gary is a total douschebag."
    -jeff

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  7. Have you even been to Idaho? Don't go hating on people if you havn't even been here. By the way, Boise (idahos capital city) is voted the second best place to live. All you talked about was nepolean dynomite! That movie as supposed to be stupid.Get a life!

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  8. Yeah,Idaho kicks ass and you suck because you don't live there.

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  9. Another-person12/08/2008 9:35 PM

    Uh, no. I've lived in Idaho, Anon, and it sucks.

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  10. Only thing about Idaho I like is the mountains in the north. Everything else sucks!

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  11. fuck all you douche fucks that said idaho is gay. It kicks ass. except for the southern scab or deserty shit.

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  12. Idaho is a beautiful state (scenery, weather, and high quality marijuana), but it sucks for more reasons than you had mentioned- such as:

    1. It's a "right to work state" which is republican newspeak for the workingman is fucked in every way, and has almost no rights when dealing with an employer.

    2. It's impossible to find a job unless you know someone, anyway.
    It's the nepotism capital of the world and they only hire relatives, friends, or friends of friends (one of the reasons most businesses and services suck here).

    3. At least 2/3 of the population is one or more of the following:
    a. A methhead
    b. Borderline or fully retarded
    c. An overstuffed Bush loving, republican asshole

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  13. I resemble those remarks. Here is my take on Idaho. http://myrtlebeachramblings.blogspot.com/2009/03/sunday-scribbling-where-are-you-from.html

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  14. i like how all the people who said idaho is cool were to affraid to post their names

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  15. I am from Utah and now live in Idaho, I have come full circle to realize that these states are in collusion to make the west ________ (insert expletive of your choice here) _________ (literary device that implies negative connotation here "insult") Basically, I can't find the words to describe how bad it sucks here. Also, potatoes are good, inbred is bad. Furthermore, Napoleon Dynamite was a character rendition of people in Idaho, and the movie sucks. Everything John said is true. I want out of here but my wife insists we stay.

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  16. I DO ENJOY A GOOD FUNNY SHAPED STATE EVERY NOW AND THEN:) HOW EXCITING!!!!!!

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  17. I don't know anyone here in Boise that is inbred. All of you who say we are as stupid as Napolean Dynamite, try going to New Mexico or Kansas, that's inbred. Of course your all entitled to your opinion. I'm only 17 and I sound more mature that most of you. The narrator, who I'm not naming because he's too self absorbed and immature to even deserve to be named, is ignorant and selfish. Just like most Americans.

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  18. Brandon,

    hahahaha! While I clearly don't that everyone in Idaho is inbred, I have the suspicion that you are. Have you asked your mom, dad, uncle, and aunt about your conception?

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  19. Have you spent any real time in Idaho?

    WTF do you know?

    I grew up in Idaho and I wouldn't honor California, Nevada, Oregon, Wherever you think is cool with my puke.

    Artful Bogarter

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  20. And what about your conception? Ever wonder why all your relatives live in the Midwest and S. America?

    If you have never spent any real time in Idaho, yet you are on this blog, LOG OFF!! you have no idea what you are talking about. If you have been here and you think it sucks, ask yourself why all your family in California and Arizona are moving here.

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  21. I keep trying to post blogs on here and you keep deleting them. Remind you of anyone, Dr. Goebells?

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  22. Neil, I've been there way too many times.

    The worst part about Idaho is that it inbreeds people like you.

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  23. Yeah? And where do you live?

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  24. Neil, comments on the blog are held for moderation before posting. Sometimes that takes a bit of time. If you had an ounce of intelligence you would be able to figure that out. But I don't blame you, you're inbred and from Idaho--that inevitably leads to mental retardation.

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  25. Neil,

    >>And what about your conception?

    Wasn't there. Can't comment on it.

    >>Ever wonder why all your relatives live in the Midwest and S. America?

    Huh? You're question doesn't even make since. That so Idahoan of you.

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  26. >>And where do you live?

    Thank goodness I have never had to live in Idaho.

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  27. Seriously though Neil, besides inbred monkeys like you and potatoes, what does Idaho have to offer?

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  28. >>And what about your conception?

    Speaking of conceptions, have you asked your mom and dad what it was like to be cousins?

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  29. You can go ahead and dodge my questions and repeat them even if it suits your purposes. This is the problem with bloggers. It's tough to tell the difference between journalists and hacks. Guess which one you are? You use buzzwords more than Bill O' Reilly. You think we're all inbreds and rednecks? Good. Whatever it takes to keep you out of our state.

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  30. So you're from CA? Figures. See you in 5 years or so. Don't ask me for directions. BTW, you'd be a shade less douchery if you didn't steal your logos from South Park.

    Idaho out

    Neil

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  31. >>You can go ahead and dodge my questions and repeat them even if it suits your purposes.

    Thanks for the permission.

    >>This is the problem with bloggers. It's tough to tell the difference between journalists and hacks.

    This is the problem with inbreds from Idaho. They are too stupid to realize that most bloggers do not claim to be journalists. I have never claimed to be one, nor do I do anything on this blog that implies that I am engaged in journalism. If you weren't from Idaho you would have known that. Your false dichotomy of bloggers being either journalists or hacks is indicative of the general low IQ of Idahoans.

    >>You think we're all inbreds and rednecks? Good. Whatever it takes to keep you out of our state.

    Far from it as possible.

    >>So you're from CA?

    Nope. I actually wrote this post when I was in Utah.

    >>Don't ask me for directions.

    No worries. I usually don't ask for directions from people from Idaho. They usually don't know that a world exists outside of that god-forsaken state.

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  32. I live in Idaho, I've been here most of my life unfortunately. The education of people here is the third lowest in the U.S. as you can tell by the countless posts that do nothing for Idaho's reputation do to the fact people can't even spell the words "haven't" or "officially" correctly when arguing the education of Idahoans. People here are rude, intolerable, biased, and close minded. Everyone here pretends they're "southern" or "country" and uses it as a status symbol. What's hilarious is my family is southern and would cringe at the rudeness of people here. In fact most southern's I know state that Idaho is a rude state that tries to copy the south. On the other side of Idaho are the "rich" kids that have their heads up their asses and have never worked a day in their life and have everything handed to them. This state is constantly freezing and that puts an even bigger damper on it's beauty because then you can't enjoy the few things it does have to offer. This bill is just even more proof of the lowly educated racist scum that live here, just please don't think all of us that live here like it.

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  33. I agree with both sides of the argument here. I was born in Idaho and left when I was very young (like 2). I am now 25 and just recently came back here after living in Sacramento, Denver, Honolulu, Houston and various cities in Arizona. Things are very different here for sure. Things I do like about Idaho: Not "too many" cops, like some other places that I have lived (all of the above), hence I can speed everywhere without worrying about getting pulled over. Hmmmm..... Now that I think about it, that might be it. Things I hate about Idaho: Fat people everywhere. Mormons Everywhere. Ignorant, self centered people people everywhere. Way too many NASCAR Fans. Slow drivers in my way all of the time (we are talking 20 in a 35 or 40 in a 55-60). I don't know I think that there are too many to think of and write down. After reading this blog I just might move away again...... Damn I thought I was starting to like it here, maybe Idaho is rubbing off on me.

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  34. i live in boise idaho, and it's very differnt and how about BSU FOOTBALL? yeah they suck don;t they? there are some things about idaho i hate, but it's also one of the number one places to raise kids. and to the anon guy about the rich kids, you are reffering to boise and now our heads are not up our asses ass hole

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  35. You move to Idaho for several things:
    To get fat.
    To be bored.
    To be mistreated.
    To be poor.
    To struggle the rest of your life.

    There is nothing to do here. Simply Google, "Why Pocatello sucks," and lots of articles and blogs will appear, repeating the same information over and over again. No where to eat, nothing to do, weather sucks in the winter, and people are rude.

    This place is the most uncolorful and bland place I have ever lived in, enough to nearly make me suicidal. Combined with the heat, or the cold, and the valley walls, all hope of having a successful life is lost within every citizen in this town, and is easily seen as they take it out on you with their intense road rage.

    If people had a life out here, they would not be out to ruin yours. The community of Pocatello is full of miserable people just wanting company and it's in the proof of how they try and convince you on how Pocatello is a wonderful place to live.

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  36. You move to Idaho for several things:
    To get fat.
    To be bored.
    To be mistreated.
    To be poor.
    To struggle the rest of your life.

    There is nothing to do here. Simply Google, "Why Pocatello sucks," and lots of articles and blogs will appear, repeating the same information over and over again. No where to eat, nothing to do, weather sucks in the winter, and people are rude.

    This place is the most uncolorful and bland place I have ever lived in, enough to nearly make me suicidal. Combined with the heat, or the cold, and the valley walls, all hope of having a successful life is lost within every citizen in this town, and is easily seen as they take it out on you with their intense road rage.

    If people had a life out here, they would not be out to ruin yours. The community of Pocatello is full of miserable people just wanting company and it's in the proof of how they try and convince you on how Pocatello is a wonderful place to live.

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  37. I have been an Idaho resident for 37 years. I grew up poor, and struggled every aspect of life. Examples... Right to work. Poor education. Shitty people who are proud of their ignorance -the kind that is handed down through the generations. I worked hard, and fought hard for a decent life. I paid my dues. That being said, I have traveled to all parts of the the country, and I have decided conclusively that Idaho is in the top three worst states to live. In my hometown, you can be shot down in the street, and the cops would rule it as turkey hunting accident. I have friends and family who have died young simply being a statistic. Killed by one of the rampant drunk drivers out on the roads. The list goes on. I for one and getting the hell out of here, before I become a statistic.

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