Sunday, November 11, 2007

name my body parts

in the last few weeks several friends have asked if i have named my mountain bike or car yet. apparently it's a bigger deal than i had realized. i really haven't thought to do so because, for me, they were not mere objects which i owned, but were rather physiological extensions of my body. my bike has recently become such part of me that it was no different than my arms, feet, or uvula. as it had not concerned me to name those, i have likewise not given a name to my bike or car.

after some considerable thought, i have decided that it is best and most appropriate that i christian both my bike and car with names. however, i have not been able to come up with anything that seems suitable. for that reason i am seeking your help for suggestions.

most importantly is a proper name for my mountain bike. while he (yes, he is a boy) is not the most expensive or premiere of cycling machinery, he is my precious. my one and only precious. this red and black specialized rockhopper joined my life in the first week of july, and (as already mentioned) has since become an extension of my very being. when i click into his crankbrothers eggbeater pedals a union is made that is comparable to only utmost of physical intimacies.

next is my new car. several weeks ago my silver '91 honda accord was maliciously assailed by a red ford escort. the injuries were so severe that we had to put it to sleep. while my bike did a sufficient job of transporting me, i knew that i would need a new automobile to replace the deceased. as i searched, i came across a black '95 honda accord that called out to me. from the moment i set my eyes on her (yes, she's a lady), i just knew that i needed to bring her home with me. admittedly, part of her appeal was that she went well with my mountain biking motif (red, black, white - which incidentally were my highschool football colors), which was important because she was going to be transportation to get my bike and i to various mountain trails.

so now i ask you to offer me suggestions as to what i should name these appendages of mine - preferably names that go well with eachother.


  1. i'd go w/ ludwig or greg... he just looks like a greg


    Oliva "livie" for short

  2. I say Dick-Nose and Bitch-Face.

  3. I dig "livie" (though I'd make it "Olvia") for the car.

    I'm not sure about the bike. My first impression is "Bruce", but that makes me think of Bruce Banner, and your bike is clearly the wrong color for that.

  4. So, most of my machines have names(my cars, my computers, even my cell phone). I've tried to explain people my real philosophy about machine names before, but maybe it'll make more sense written down:

    Machines are alive. They have names. You don't name them, because they already have names. You have to find out their names, the way you would a friend that you're just meeting.

    Here's some quotes from a favorite anime that I think captures the idea of naming a machine. They do it with their swords:

    "I knew it. You can't even ask your own zanpakutō [the type of sword] its name."

    "That's right. I've never actually drawn Zangetsu's [the name of this character's sword] true power or try to understand him. Zanpaktou are not mere tools. They're each alive. They each have names. I'm no better than that Kenpachi [another character], who doesnt even know his zanpaktou's name."

    I think you're on the right track, since you've been able to describe the personalities of your machines, and since you are able to identify their genders. Keep asking.


  5. Since my experience in naming things only goes for my baby I realize that it's super hard to find the right one. I don't have any suggestions, just well wishes.

  6. How about Ass and Poo?


  7. Miss Lisa Pie11/16/2007 4:48 PM

    Bike: The Hammer or James Dean or Xavier

    Car: Laquishan or Marla Singer (from your fave movie)

    I don't know, naming things are hard!! Let's just eat sushi instead!

  8. PS: One of my actual body parts has a name, too, and it's not dirty. My knee is named "Bruck Castorris".

  9. OK, I've thought and thought and have no suggestions. Mason however thinks the bike should be Lightning and the car McQueen.

  10. And it finally comes down to this, the names for your bike and car having sifted through my mind countless days now:

    Specialized Rock-hopper will now be known as Durden

    Black car with bike-matching red stripe will now be known as(agreeing with an earlier comment, but dropping the last name) Marla

  11. The bike should be named "Zeos." And the car should be named "Zippy."

  12. okay, so Lili thinks that the only acceptable names are smokey for your bike and sofia for your car. Im sure that this will probably change next time I ask, but for now, she is very serious about these names

  13. So what names did you choose?

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