i finished the future of life, which was a revealing look at the extinction and near extinction of hundred's of species on the earth. now i'm going to give the classics a try with charles dickens' a tale of two cities
i also got a little bored and made a list of all the books i've read since i started posting about them in november. that list can be found here.
went to the manti pageant friday night with my ward. i don't care a whole lot for the pageant (besides the volcano ;) ), but it's always fun to go with some friends. our ward rented a bus, but they left before i could get back from work (lacy missed it as well, so we ended up catching a ride with her roommate's brother and riding the bus back). as the pageant began, i had a few things on my mind that i wanted to write down, but having nothing to write with, i decided to text myself with my cell phone. here's what i wrote...
"Im different now. I FEEL my testimony again. It drives me. I want to be that much better now. I like it!"
"I don't know what i believe all the time. I don't know if all or if even some of it [the book of mormon] historically happened. I am leaning to some of it though. i do know that it comes from god. I love reading it. Each verse rings true and tells me how i should live. I feel so close to my savior when i read it. Hes done so much for me that i cannot do for myself. I want him to be proud of me."
thins with lacy have been up and down lately. one day she's all cuddly with me, the next day it's as if she wants to avoid me at all costs. reminds me of someone else... a route i don't wanna take again. i don't want anything serious. she's only here for another 6 weeks or so (bummer). i just want something consistent. she's a lot of fun and an awesome example.
i found out in my first day of my intro to integrated studies class that i have to read the future of life by monday. it's just a little over 200 pages. the first chapter was pretty good. hopefully the other 7 are as well.
more and more people are beginning to happen upon my blog. (partly do to the discovery that my grandpa who shares my name is being quoted on different websites.) because of this, i've decided to back up my entries for my personal keeping and to do back and edit out a lot of the more personal items.
it's my past that made me into who i am today, but i am not my past.
finished reading the rule of four this afternoon. it's an ok book. not bad, but nothing that grabs your attention. hardly, a comparison to the da vinci code as some claim it to be. up next is the lord of the rings and philosophy: one book to rule them all, which is about, well, the lord of the rings and philosophy.
my views haven't changed. i still believe that there can be uplifting rated r movies that can be good to watch. however, using this view, i can't justify a lot of the movies i own. there is a big difference between seven and saving private ryan. so i'm off to big daddy's today to sell most of them.
when i first moved here to raintree, i thought i had sunk deeper into happy valley. everyone here was either a peter priesthood or a molly mormon. it kinda bugged me and i really didn't want to be a part of it. partly from my realization that i had to stop trying to be different and partly from sime gentle nudging by lacy, i've found that i can be happy and stufs living a more 'happy valley life'. i've really tried to stop swearing and have succeeded quite well and i find myself not wanting to see things that aren't quite uplifting. i took down my britney spears poster and i'm prolly going to sell several of my dvds tomorrow. much of this is prolly a fad that will pass in a while, but i hope it's not. i just don't think i'm at the spiritual level that i should be at.
i haven't written for a few days. things with lacy have been going great. last night, we went out for a late drive. as we were driving she wrapped her arm around mine and later took my hand to hold it. when we got back, we sat outside my door for an hour or so and talked and cuddled. tonight at fhe, she almost completely ignored me and practically acted as if i didn't exist. i really didn't see her much afterwards. i just don't get it. i'm sure things will be back to all fine and dandy tomorrow.
so i'm driving north on freedom today, just past taco bell and some idiot truck driver decides to make a right hand turn from the center lane and clips the front left side of my car with his semi, sending me over the curb. in that instant, my whole life passed before my eyes (and it was rather boring). luckily, nobody was hurt (besides small bits of glass in my hands, eyes, and feet). my car wasn't so lucky. it's most likely totaled. believe it or not, it was not my fault and was rather unavoidable. the trucker was cited with making a dagerous turn (and then the idiot went and lied to his insurance agency. he told them that he was on the right lane and that i tried to pass them on the right and that i got cited. the police report will show everyone how full of crap he is.) i'll post some pics of my car and the accident as soon as my brother sends me them.
i promise i'll be writing more interesting stufs soon. hopefully i'll be able to sleep in tomorrow and catch up on some sleep. hung out with lacy again tonight, went and saw shrek 2 (hilarious movie bytheway) and then we sat outside and talked and stufs until 2. yeah... i'm definitely interested.
this girl i met last night, lacie (laci? lacey?...) she's awesome. i think i'm really digging her. to be continued... (as are most my adventures)...
i really need to get more sleep so i have more energy and brain-power to write something interesting
once again, not a whole lot to write about. met a really cute girl tonight that just moved into the ward. still not getting the sleep i should be, but that's my own fault. i feel like some sushi right now. (meaning i want to eat some, not that i feel like i am sushi)
the drama is all over and now i don't know what to write about.
they fired a girl ant my work, so i'llbe able to get more hours now. she was nice, but a slacker so it's two win's and one loss.
feeling sorry for myself got rather boring... so i slapped myself in the face and said, "dammit loyd, smile!"
...and i smiled
emily had a pretty good excuse to cancel the date, so i decided to give it a chance and call this cute girl i met a couple weeks ago. i got her number back then, but i was warned that she was seriously dating someone. i figured if she says no, then she says no. if she says yes, then yippee. i got to take her to see harry potter tonight. she's pretty cool, but prolly not what you'd expect me to be interested in... on the conservative side (compared to me). she instantly recognized death cab for cutie playing in my car (she went to their concert too) and is a fan of 24. i think i'd like to take her out again.
my date for tonight (emily) just called and canceled...
i'm really hating life right now
my blog's been a lot more personal these last few days. and i've been getting a lot more hits. i guess everyone likes a little drama... as long as it isn't theirs.
it's definitely been a long several days for me, besides my birthday party up in the cabin (which i feared would turn disasterous), this has had to be one of the shittiest birthdays ever. it's my own fault though. in a really rough year, i found a lot of happiness last fall. i was really happy. i guess i just wanted to hold onto my false dream that it was real. so now it's as if it's all come tumbling down. we haven't even dated for a long time.. and now i feel as if i just got dumped... damn i can be pathetic.
the weird thing is remembering aspects of the past i know happened, but being told they never did. i'll prolly never know now. it was a different time and a different situation.
a lot has been cleared up though. i really began to wonder if our friendship was a farce. it's difficult feeling like you really care for someone and see them as your best-friend... want to do anything for them, but feeling like you are seen as just another person... it wasn't that way though. she was just scared of puffing up my hopes that she was still in love with me.
i want to be happy for her when she likes someone else. it's hard though for a couple reasons. one, i can be jealous of that person that she'll have feelings for. two, i'll be jealous of her. i really want to fall for someone. i want that feeling of having a crush. i want to really like someone again. i always get a little jealous when i see someone really liking someone else. i think it'll be harder to see my best friend having what i don't. (kinda like when i was little and all my friends had a nintendo, but my parents wouldn't let me have one)
on the brightside, i've got a date with emily tonight. it'll be the first 2nd date i've had since last fall. i dunno though. i feel like i've already hit my usual 1 or 2 week interest limit. we'll see....
